One of the hardest things to do when growing up is tell a girl your feelings. Unfortunately, it sometimes doesn't get any easier. While telling a girl your feelings is tough when you are shy, you should always remember that she can't read minds, and you'll have to make a move sooner or later.
Method One of Three:
Preparing to Talk to HerEdit
1Spend time thinking about your own feelings. What about this girl attracts you? Why do you feel the way you do? What are your feelings for this girl -- romantic, friendly, confused? Take some time to think about what you want out of your relationship so you can have a clearer idea of what to so.
- It can help to write down your feelings, potentially as a letter to her. You don't have to send it, but writing down your feelings can help you get a handle on them.
2Take some time to get to know her. Find out some things you have in common, and things you don't. Things you agree about, and things you don't. You and her could end up liking the same thing, and not even have had the slightest clue because she's been hiding it so well.
- If you don't talk often, try and get her to initiate conversation. Hang out with her and her friends, sit next to her at class, and put yourself in a place to chat.
3Prepare what you want to say. Think about your feelings and find a way to say them. You might write down a few lines, get together a quick "practice line," or rehearse the conversation in the mirror.
- "I think you're great, and would love a chance to get to know you more."
- "I really enjoy our friendship, and I was hoping we could go on a date or two to see where things go."
- "Let's go out on a date sometime."
4Don't rely too much on canned lines. Preparation aside, you have to be ready to improvise when the actual conversation starts. This can be difficult if you are naturally shy, so don't try and overdo it. Say what you want to say quickly, then let her talk from there. Your response doesn't have to be planned, and it will come off more naturally if it is not.Advertisement
Method Two of Three:
Telling a Girl you Like HerEdit
1Pick a time and place you are comfortable in. Make this as easy on yourself as possible by making yourself feel good. Pick a spot that you know well to ease any nervousness or talkative. Good spots generally have few people, are quiet, and are easy to get to naturally. Don't make a big spectacle by asking her to follow you to a romantic spot. A quiet hallway or corner after school is just as good a spot to talk about your feelings as any other.
2Find some humor in the situation. If you still feel shy around her, use a bit of humor to lighten the mood. Say something like, "Things were a lot less awkward between us before I inserted a size 12 foot in my mouth." Show that you don't take yourself too seriously and she will feel relaxed as well.
- If you aren't naturally funny, that is okay too. Finding humor in a situation is more about finding the best side of yourself, even when things get awkward.
3Go ahead and say it. The great secret to getting over shyness is just coming out and saying what you feel. It is not easy, but it is the only way to do it. Keep it short and to the point. "I really like you, and I'd love to go out on a date sometime," is all you need to say. Some tricks to get it all out include:
- Count to 3 in your head-- when you get to zero, you have to say it.
- Avoid chit-chatting beforehand. Say hello, ask how she is doing, then launch right in.
4Be honest. If she is going to ditch you because of a little initial awkwardness, is she really that worth being with? Quickly admitting that you feel nervous may be the best way to break the ice, and she will appreciate your honesty. What you are telling her is that you like her so much you feel shy saying it -- that kind of honesty and vulnerability is going to go a long way. Lines to try include:
- "I'm a bit nervous to say this, but..."
- "I know I seem kind of awkward, but I want you to know how I feel."
5Prepare yourself for rejection. If she says she doesn't like you back, it's no big deal. Just ask if you can still be friends, and act cool. And don't be mean to her just because she rejects you. It's her choice, after all. And you may have just been chasing after the wrong girl.Advertisement
Method Three of Three:
Gauging if She Likes YouEdit
1Ask her on a "casual date" with other friends or a group of people. This is usually a good way to gauge your relationship without the pressure of an intimate date. If you're having a get together with friends or going out to a club, ask her along or have a friend invite her. This way you can see each other in a social setting.
- Does she spend time with you? Do you have fun together?
2Be yourself, even if you are shy. Trying to fake someone into liking you is a sure-fire way to start a failing relationship. You have to have confidence in who you are. If she doesn't like that, then you would not have made a very happy couple anyway. Feel more confident by focusing less on yourself and more on her.
3Ask a mutual friend for advice. Someone on the outside can give you valuable perspective on her feelings for you, and give some advice on how to proceed. Find a friend you trust and confide in them to see how they see things. Do they think you would make a good couple? Do they think the feelings are mutual? How would they talk to her about your feelings?
- This can be a "practice round," helping you sort out your feelings.
4Note her body language around you. Does she make eye contact, hug or touch you, lean in when you talk, or sit next to you whenever possible? These are all good signs that she may have similar feelings.
- Closing her body off by folding her arms, avoiding eye-contact, or making excuses not to talk are often signs that she is not interested.
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How can I know if she has the same feelings as me?
- It's the excitement of not knowing, of doubting, that makes these feelings grow. Keep the mystery. Look for signs: flirting, blushing, or if she touches you. But still, the best thing to do is just have lots of chats with her. Get to know her. Give her time to develop her feelings.
What does it mean when she says hi to some other boy when I'm looking?Answered by wikiHow Contributor
- It might not mean anything at all as she could just be friends with him or just friendly in general but if she does this a lot while you are with her and not at all any other time, she might want to make you jealous because she likes you. But it is very hard to tell from that one example so do not read too much into it and look for other signs.
I want to tell a girl that I like here but whenever I go near her I think about the last girl who ditched me. How can I stop thinking about this?Answered by wikiHow Contributor
- It's totally understandable that you feel anxious and worried about getting hurt again. That being said, you should just go for it and talk to this girl. You could miss out on a really great experience if you let fear run your life, and a the new girl might help you forget about the old one. If you're really not ready, though, it's okay to give it some more time.
What if I'm not very attractive?Answered by wikiHow Contributor
- Attraction is very rarely based on looks alone; in my experience, things like personality and sense of humor are far more important. Furthermore, you might not think you're good looking, but other people might. Have a bit more self-confidence!
Is it right to express the feeling to a girl in the presence of her friends?
- Tricky, but not impossible. Feelings are personal, so if you ask her for her personal feelings in front of her friends, you basically decided in her place that she should share her personal feelings with them and she has had no say in that - which is kind of unfair. On the other hand, if you talk to her when her friends are present, it's a strong display of courage and being sure of yourself, which everyone appreciates. Finally, consider that a group of people is more than the sum of the individuals. You risk that if one of her friends says 'no', she may not want to risk the friendship and also say 'no', where alone she might have considered 'yes'.
I know this girl likes me but I don't know how to ask her out, what do I do?
- Take three steps in her direction, that's the most difficult part. If you want her, take three steps towards her. Next, say "hi". Then take it from there. You don't need fancy opening lines that don't work anyway. Keep it small and simple: "Hi, I'd like to ask you out on a date - let's go do something fun. What do you like?"
I want to talk to this cute girl, and she might like me back, but I don't know how to approach her. What should I do?Answered by wikiHow Contributor
- Just go talk to her! Plan out some interesting topics beforehand and just go over and talk to her. Don't be shy and just treat her like a normal friend and when you get really confident, ask her if she'd like to hang out with you some time. What's the worst that can happen?
Is it okay to shed tears when telling a girl my feelings?
- Of course. Emotions can be strong, they can overcome us when we least expect it, and crying is a natural way to relieve some of that stress. Try not to go sobbing uncontrollably, but don't be afraid of a few tears rolling down your cheek. It can be emotional when you show someone your true feelings, and if your expression matches your words, that's a strong signal you're not lying. It also shows her you feel comfortable enough around her to show your inner feelings. But cry too much and you might tip the balance from a joyful moment to an awkward one. Consider actually saying it: "Look, I feel so strongly about this that I can't hold back all my tears."
There's a boy I like and I want to tell him, but I want to do it through body language, what should I do?
- Give him a look and keep looking until you're sure he's noticed. Repeat that until he talks to you. Give him a smile. If there's an opportunity to hug, hold the hug slightly longer than normal. Wave at him with a smile. 'Accidentally' touch his hand every once in a while. Boys can be very slow with these things, though, so be prepared to wait a long time before he finally realizes it. If you get tired of waiting, try talking to him yourself. Start with 'Hi'.
- Don't be afraid. It is perfectly normal to express your feelings.
- She's just as nervous as you, don't think you're the only one that feels awkward. Try to make her as comfortable as possible when you approach her.
- Just be ready for anything then take a breath and approach her with a smile!
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A"Everything helped, really. I'm an extremely hesitant guy, and I stutter constantly, especially around girls. The fact that you stated to get everything prepared and get practice really helped. Thanks."..." more
AA"I'm too scared and I don't know what to say. I've never asked a girl out before, and this helped me a lot. Thank you."..." more
BS"I'm going to ask my crush tomorrow, and I am prepared now. Remember to ask advice from friends."
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